Does anyone besides me ever think about your past loves? First love? I’m still in touch (or in touch again) with a couple of mine, and talking with them often brings up some sweet old memories.
Remember what love was like back before everything was so complicated in your life? When your biggest ethical worry was whether to flirt with your best friend’s boyfriend (or girlfriend)? When the outer layer of clothes you wore to a date was more important than what underwear you wore?
Remember when you would talk for hours (or all night) on the phone, and no one wanted to hang up first? When touching hands or knees made your stomach feel all funny inside? When the big question for the night was whether there’d be a kiss? And whether it would be good?
I miss the old days. When people took their time, and fell in love. When the first time you said, “I love you” to someone, it was a really big deal. You waited until you thought you were ready, instead of jumping into it. And sex came AFTER love, not before. It made you feel like you were floating on air, and like everything was a new possibility.
And when you broke up, it was the end of your world. For a couple of weeks, anyway.
Seems like things move so fast now, those little things just don’t count anymore. In fact, most people hardly take time to stop and notice them, or do them. If you brush up against someone and you get a funny feeling in your stomach, just screw them. And don’t bother calling. You don’t even have to actually meet someone to have sex with them these days, much less be in love with them. With the internet, it’s easier than ever to “reach out and touch someone.”
But I think we’re cheating ourselves out of those sweet memories. It should be the small, thoughtful, loving things that others do for us that are ingrained in our memories. I know those are the things that stick most in my mind.
My old loves and I still talk about old times, and it makes me feel sweetly nostalgic. It’s a lovely feeling, and it’s part of what makes me who I am. I would never want to lose that.