Men! When will they ever learn? The love of my life told me last night that the emotion I expressed to him was “irrational.” My reaction was, “Of course it is—it’s an EMOTION!” He may be a PhD, but he’s still got a lot to learn about trying to explain emotions with reason! Poor man. He’s been an academic too long.
Love, passion, fear, longing… they’re all emotions. There is no way to explain them with reason. They are not rational, nor are they logical. You can’t explain them away, or think your way through them. You feel them, or you don’t. You don’t understand them through reasoning. You have to understand them with your heart.
I know that sounds scary, because men generally want to deal with the rational. They want to identify the issue, fix it, and be done with it. They become afraid or confused when they have to trust their heart, and just FEEL. Men aren’t usually comfortable with that. And believe me—if you find one that is, girl—hang onto him!
When it comes to emotions, there’s nothing that can be done to “fix it.” Emotions must be handled with empathy. If a woman feels hurt, or lonely, or just blue, there isn’t anything you can do to fix it. Time is the only thing that changes her mood. But you can show her that you understand, and that it’s okay for her to have her feelings. Don’t say, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” It’s not a question of should or shouldn’t. It’s a does or doesn’t thing. It’s not optional, because it’s not a choice.
It’s like gravity. Knowing WHY it exists doesn’t change anything; it doesn’t stop it. Objects still fall to the ground.
What a woman really wants is for you to respond with emotions of your own. Sympathy works. If she is hurt, just say you’re sorry, and that you didn’t mean it. If she is lonely, say you miss her, too. If she is just feeling blue, say you love her and that things will be better. If she is in love with you and feeling bad because you are far, far away, just say that you love her. Frequently.
And things will be better.