Job opening

Position available: best friend.

Qualifications: Honest, loyal, dependable, loving, available, and a good listener. Willing to make small talk, keep big secrets, or just be quiet with me. Must be brave. Should be able to give hugs on demand.

Pay: no monetary gain

Benefits: Reciprocation of all required qualifications. Track record of long-lasting friendship.

Opportunities for advancement: Promotions possible, based on job performance.

Duration: As long as you are willing to stay. Maybe a lifetime.

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