Okay, I admit I got this idea from Gossip Girl. The commercial asked, “If you knew you had only one night to live, who would you spend it with?”—or words to that effect. It made me think. What would my answer be? With whom would I choose to spend it? My son? Parents? Friends? Lover? Soulmate? Stranger? What would we do for that one last night?
Would I spend it with my son? Would I spend my last hours trying to give him all the advice and wisdom I can muster? Tell him all the good memories I can remember about his childhood? Explain to him how important it is to learn to give and accept unconditional love, and how he will reap what he sows, especially in relationships? Try to impress on him how important it is to always give his best, so that whoever he gives to never feels that they received anything less than they deserved? Tell him that when he finds someone to give his heart to, not to hold anything back and to love them without reservation? Urge him never to let go if he finds that one special person, because that’s the only way he will be truly happy, and he will regret letting go if he does? Or explain to him that he has to love himself before he can really love someone else?
Or would I spend it with my parents? Maybe I would spend the time thanking them for all they’ve done for me; for the times they believed in me, and even for the times they didn’t, because it made me more determined than ever.
Maybe I would spend one last night with all the friends I’ve ever had who truly loved me (it’s a fantasy; I’m allowed to assume the impossible, that they could be all together!). Maybe I would thank each one, maybe I wouldn’t find the words, and we’d just “eat, drink, and be merry” until the night was gone.
Maybe I would spend it with a lover, feeling one last time those feelings that make you so glad to be alive. Maybe I would choose my latest, or my favorite, or the most passionate. Again, it’s my fantasy. Maybe it would be one that I always wanted but never had…
Or maybe, I would selfishly choose to spend my last night with my soulmate. The one whose touch makes my heart skip a beat; his kiss makes the world disappear and time stand still. Our souls would merge as we made love, just like they did the very first time. We would spend all our energy until there was no more, and fall asleep beside each other, and I would die in perfect bliss.
Or maybe, I would run from all the responsibility, and the memories, and the pain—and find a complete stranger who mysteriously drew me to him, and give him what was left of my life; forgetting all that came before, and promising nothing for the future that doesn’t exist.
Which would I choose? I know exactly which I would choose—beyond any shadow of a doubt—but I’m not saying.
What would you choose?