Many men I know need to realize that being a good husband and a good lover are not necessarily one and the same. When my marriage ended, the sex was still fine. Maybe it was a little mechanical and predictable after so many years, but we still both ended up physically satisfied. Unfortunately, that was basically the only part of our marriage that still worked. I felt pretty much invisible the rest of the time. THAT’s why I left him. He made me feel that I was always last priority; least important—and I finally decided that that just wasn’t good enough for me. I lived with it as long as I could, and then I left.

Even though he was a good lover, he was a lousy husband. I would rather have had a husband who never let me doubt that he loved me. The day-to-day things that happen outside the bedroom are much more important than what happens when you’re naked.

“Manhood” is so much more than sexual performance, and being a loving husband is no small feat. Many fine lovers never accomplish it.