Time change

Well, here it is again—the time of year when we all look behind us at what has been, and look ahead of us to imagine what may yet be. This is the time when we both remember and dream at once. We remember the good times fondly, and turn our backs to try to forget the not-so-good times. The New Year is a time change, not for our clocks, but for our lives.

I have heard many people say that they will be glad to be free of 2013; it was a difficult year for more than a few of us. But I can’t help remembering some really good things that happened, as well.

One of the biggest milestones in my life was living for a half century. It was the perfect non-New-Year’s-Eve time to reflect on the things I have done and not done with my life. I have been married and had a son. Although the marriage has failed and ended, my son has survived. In recent years, I looked inside myself and discovered that I had the strength to leave my unhappy marriage and care for my son on my own. I learned to reclaim myself, and to regain the joie de vivre that I had mostly lost. I have forged a fairly happy relationship with my son, which is not always easy to do.

When I had rough times in a recent relationship, I discovered a “best girlfriend” in an old boyfriend. Who would have believed it? He kept me from giving up and walking away more than once, and I’m glad he did.

I survived 3 semesters of college this year—not as easy as it was when I was younger. I have enjoyed learning new things and making friends with people who are half my age. I have done well and not so well, and have learned valuable information that can help me succeed.

The last couple of months of the year, I have struggled with some stress and health issues that have made life difficult. Some of the stress ended with the last semester, but new stress has come. My strength, my endurance, and my faith continue to be tested, but I am not yet broken.

So, looking back, I can see that in spite of the rough times, there have been good times, too, and I believe that I have a great deal to look forward to in 2014. I will be closer to graduation. I look forward to having enough education to find a job that is more relevant to what I hope to do for the next 20 years.

I see my son now working at a job he enjoys and that could have a real future for him. He has learned to be responsible with his money and pay his own bills, and make life decisions for himself. I would like to see him gain the independence that all people his age desire.

Most of all, I want to keep looking forward.

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