A week ago today, I got the professional equivalent of, “It’s not you, it’s me…” My boss broke up with me. Well, not him personally—it wasn’t that kind of thing—but he broke up the relationship between his company and me. Between the staff and me. Between my complacency and me.
Sometimes, you know a breakup is coming—maybe even overdue. You’re aware that you’re not getting everything you need, and that you can’t give what your partner really needs. But if things aren’t bad, it’s scary to step out of your “safe space.” You know it needs to be done. Still, you hope that you will be the one to speak first…when you have a new plan in place.
If you don’t get to be the one who decides when things should end, it can throw you off-balance. But even as the reality is setting in, you know it was right. “You gotta be cruel to be kind,” as Nick Lowe so eloquently put it. On my own, I had come to the realization that I couldn’t make the money I needed if I stayed, and the opportunity I had hoped it would bring hadn’t materialized. Although I did a lot for the company, and I know those contributions were valued, it now needed things I couldn’t do. It was time.
There’s a reason for the name of my blog. That question comes up in my life over and over again. It’s not unusual that, once more, I find myself asking “Sooo…what’s next?” I don’t know. Honestly, I never know. I’m just making it up as I go.
All I know is that God has never left me to fend for myself. I know that I’m ready for a new challenge. I just pray that God was way out ahead of my boss, so there’s something out there already, just waiting for me to catch up.